Monday, June 29, 2009

Sometimes people may wonder why it takes so long for me to update. Well, sometimes there is no electricity. This is why I can say that Ghana is for lovers: you'll have so many candlelit dinners you'll vomit roses. You'll also start to go to bed at 8pm, just like your beloved grandma, becuase it's dark and you are lonely and have nothing better to do. So let me add: Ghana is for lovers and for grandparents.

The rainy season is here! After a full winter of excruciating 80-90 degree days and fair sunny skies, I am delivered into days of constant rainfall. The humidity is giving that extra 10%, thus remaining at 110% for the long haul. Some things that have gotten moldy and mildewy: Dry clothes hanging inside my home, my supposedly well sealed shelf stable margerine, wooden matches inside the matchbox, my kitchen table, the two foot section that rings the bottom of my home, and my dress shoes, but not any other shoes for some reason.

The unpaved roads have now turned into mud with a slickness like a frozen river. Although I haven't fallen yet, those who do end up sadly looking like they crapped themselves. From this, however, you can create a strategy: If you have ameobic dysentary and, ahem, couldn't make it, you could just fall in the mud and and receive sympathy instead of embarrassment. I haven't had need to try this yet, but if I do, I'll let you know what my success level is.

The main excitement of the rainy season is the arrival of the grafted mango. For a few months we have been getting these tiny yellow local mangoes which are tasty enough, but stringy and not the most satisfying. Last week I bought a grafted mango the size of a cow heart for under one dollar. It tasted like your wedding night and almost made me pass out from its greatness. Yes, feel free to envy me here. For you science buffs: a grafted mango is when they take a green branch from a cultivar that produces the desired variety and graft it onto the root stock of the small local variety for hardiness.

That's it for now! Take care and eat well.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

June Topic: Food

I'm going to try to do a monthly topic in addition to any other posts I do. These will be generally informative. This months topic: FOOD!

The standard Ghanaian dish is a ball of starch in a bowl of oil. Sounds yummy! Some brief descriptions:

Fufu: Take yams, cocoyam, or plantains and cassava together, and lightly boil. Then pound into a thick sticky ball of slime. Typically eaten with groundnut soup or light soup, the method is to pull of a piece about the size of a large shooter marble, dip in the sauce, and swallow whole without chewing (or gagging, for those trying it for the first time.)

Ampesi: Boil large chunks of yams, cocoyam or plantains. Put into a soup or stew, pull off a piece, and eat.

Omo Tuo: The ever popular rice ball, my friends! Can be eaten with anything and everything, and often is. Simply pull off a piece, and eat! Typically served in baseball to 16 inch softball size, two or three at a time.

Banku: What happens if you let maize ferment in a pot for three days and then pound into a thick sour mush? You get banku of course! This is actually really tasty, but it's an acquired taste for some. Often served with light soup or okro stew.

Tuo Zaafi (TZ): TZ, pronounced tee-zed, is almost like banku. Instead, regular old corn meal is boiled into a thick paste. Typically eaten with okro stew. This dish is much more popular in the north of Ghana than in the south.

Groundnut Soup: Ah, how delicious you are, GS! Made of groundnuts (that's peanuts to most, monkey nuts to the weirdos) and groundnut oil. Eating this gives you huge pectoral muscles and increases your tolerance for Celine Dion ballads. Easily one the best things in Ghana to eat.

Light Soup: Made from some a little palm oil, a lot of peppers, water and some canned tomatoes usually. Not the heartiest, but cheap and easy. Sometimes it is so hot and spicy you can hear time and see how you're going to die.

Palmnut Soup: Made with the pulp and oil from the fruit of the oil palm. When cooked right, it's greasy, oily, slick, and viscous- and incredibly delicious. Eating too much gives the average non-Ghanaian a bad case of Kofi's Revenge, so moderation is best.

Okro Stew: The main ingredient is okra (okro in Ghana), which basically turns the entire bowl of stew into a giant pool of mucous. Since it is typically eaten with TZ, which is also a type of slime, it's like the grossest thing you can think of: cat vomit. It's actually quite good, though, and eating it teaches you how to be a forgiving and kind person.

Jollof Rice: Rice boiled with tomato paste. Actually one of the worst dishes in Ghana, it's also the most loved by white people. Typical, eh?

Fried Rice: Same as they make it in Panda Express. Really.

Mportoporto: When you take yams, mash them with light soup and then serve them in light soup, you get Mportoporto! This is one high class dish and it's considered such a delicacy it's only eaten in a tuxedo.

Kenky: Similar to TZ, but it is steamed corn meal cooked to a very thick consistency. Often eaten with "pepe," or pepper sauce, made with peppers, onions, and sometimes tomatoes (yes, it's salsa!) It's a super cheap meal, but eating too much of it instills a hatred for all of God's creation.

Fried Fish: These are made from any fish species that can be eaten, regardless of size, bones, or flavor. They go into EVERYTHING THAT CAN POSSIBLY BE COOKED. So... if you hate fish, you might starve in Ghana, since everything tastes like fish, even the chicken.

Shitto: Made from ground fried fish and peppers, this garnishing sauce is often added to rice dishes. It's also a powerful antiseptic.

Wakye: Beans and rice, baby! Hot and spicy and often eaten for breakfast and lunch, it will also give you the worst gas you've ever had.

Rice Porridge: Take the left over rice from last nights meal, add sugar, hot water, and milk powder. Filling, but only for an hour.

Fido, Mitzy, Bossie, Micky, Porky, Henrietta and Satan: That's dog, cat, cow, rat, pig, chicken and goat. All are eaten in some degree in Ghana, although fish is the most prevalent. Chicken and goat come next, with the others eaten on rarer occasion due to their higher cost. People also eat bush meat, which can be a lot of different things.

There are yet other things in Ghana that people eat, but these are the big ones. Feel free to add on to the list if you know any others. But as a general rule, all the soups and stews have a LOT of oil and a served with a large among of starch. But don't be fooled! It's all really quite good, and most people from the west like at least a few of the things (yes, even dog...)